Many a time on a personal development recording or a book have I seen the mention of values. This had driven me to think about what mine were. However, until fairly recently, I have never really considered how it would feel to be truly aligned with and notice them on a daily basis. Falling out of sync with them can teach me a lesson.
This lesson came about from my gruelling 8 week placement in a primary school which I finished on Friday (thank God!) The lesson planning was constant and so I wasn’t seeing my friends or family, I wasn’t getting enough sleep and I was consistently trying to battle the negativity and the nervousness in my mind. I had heard from others how tough a job teaching could be, but after my placement I now have a newly found appreciation for the work that teachers do! However, on another note, I now know that it isn’t a career that I want.
So, what is that to do with values? What if I told you after some soul searching a few months ago that I consider mine to be mental health, positivity, work ethic and family? Maybe work ethic tallies with a primary teaching career but I had missed out on seeing my grandad when he really needed me as my weekends were totally taken up and I cried more over stress in a few weeks than I had in three years! Perhaps a job teaching primary school children would be different to placement and I would have more free time, but why compromise myself when I didn’t really enjoy it?
More than ever, I realise how important it is to create a life which is true to what we consider important. I know many primary school teachers have very fulfilling and happy careers but, for me, it is more essential to spread the message of good mental health and be available for my family on a regular basis. My decision to change university courses if all goes well will be able to match this need. I cannot begin to describe how relieved I am that my personal tutor said this was an option!
Perhaps when we dismiss our values though, we shouldn’t be too harsh on ourselves. When I was going to Back on Track a year or so ago, I was recovering from a serious mental illness and what I wanted more than ever was just to find some way to prove that I was well again and could do what I ‘wanted’ to do. Perhaps I rushed into doing a primary teaching degree in some ways, denying my impulses to write and to be in a position to help others with recovery.
Now I face a long summer of ‘resetting’ myself which I am genuinely looking forward to. I am doing some peer mentoring and writing. I realise it isn’t selfish to choose a life that it is true to yourself and, if anything, my experience at Back on Track of thinking about my future could have helped me with this if I had looked deeper. Maybe it’s time to get really honest with yourself and look at your values too? Are you really in sync with yourself or are you letting life happen without considering you have the freedom to choose?
Maysie Stott-Morrison
